Tips to consider when mixing alcohol and hanging out or hooking up
We know folks drink to relax and have fun, and it’s also a time that people want to hang out and/or hook up. Here’s our advice on:
The Do's
- Do set a reasonable drinking limit for yourself and try to stick to it. It’s important to know your limits, and when you might be too drunk to pick up on consent cues.
- Do strike a balance between loosening up and feeling confident with being too intoxicated to have a conversation. It is easy to misunderstand, misjudge or misread a situation after a few drinks.
- Do make sure you are on the same page about what you want to do, what is okay, and when you should stop. It's the responsibility of the person initiating physical activity to continuously check in.
- Do check in with friends who can tell you honestly if you are not being respectful or the other person appears too drunk.
- Do learn and follow the steps to practicing meaningful consent. You can also register for a Tools for Change workshop.
- Do stop what you are doing if someone appears incapacitated – slurring, stumbling, swaying, not making sense, and smelling strongly of alcohol. Even if someone says “yes” while incapacitated, you should still stop. Instead, make sure they get home safely.
- Do intervene if you notice that two people seem to be going somewhere to hook up while obviously incapacitated. This is an opportunity to distract and intervene. Click here to register for a Bringing in the Bystander workshop.
- Do help people who are passed out, incoherent, staggering, not aware of their environment, or unable to clearly communicate get home safely.
The Don’ts
- Don't assume that because someone is paying you attention they are romantically or sexually interested in you.
- Don't buy someone a drink and assume they owe you something in return.
- Don't touch, grab, rub or grind up against another person without their consent. No, not even on the dance floor.
- Don't encourage someone to get drunk so you can take them home.
- Don't put something in someone’s drink (such as drugs or more alcohol) without their knowledge or consent.
- Don't send texts, messages, or Snapchat pics of your naked body or anyone else’s without getting consent first.
- Don't assume persistence will change someone's mind. Take 'NO' as the answer, the first time.
Drinking or being drunk is never an excuse for sexualized violence. Even if you do not intend to cause harm, you are responsible for the harm you cause.