Discuss
Before inviting someone to a difficult conversation, consider that they may not know what you want to talk about. They are likely not prepared or may not have thought through the risks/benefits in the same way.
Setting up a good process
Be sensitive to differing levels of readiness as you plan when and where to ask them to talk. You may want to share that you are using this conflict navigator to guide your process.
Some tips:
- approach the other person in private
- ask when it’s convenient for them
- negotiate a neutral location
- explicitly state the purpose for requesting the meeting
Prepare
- think through and/or write down what you want to say and any questions
- reflect on what you want to share and communicate as best you can, even when nervous
- you can use the Experience Cube to prepare for and guide your conversation, or consider hosting a circle dialogue
Things to remember:
- it’s normal to feel nervous and uncomfortable before, during and after a difficult conversation
- you may learn things that change your initial stance/perspective/or even shift what you want out of the conversation
- be open to these shifts
- although you may not be able to get everything you want out of a conversation, consider if you’ve reached enough understanding to move forward
- use this information to fuel future development plans and learning opportunities